FAIRY GRANDMOTHERS

 

Being a grandmother to a toddler means playing, changing diapers, providing healthy snacks, and becoming familiar with new shows like Bluey, Blippi, and Ms. Rachel.

Being a grandmother to teens and pre-teens means board games, Chuck E Cheese, providing less healthy snacks, and band concerts.

And being a grandmother to adults means political discussions, recipe exchanges, key to the snack drawers, and immediate technology assistance whenever needed.

But there is an additional perk with adult descendants. I get to listen to the stories of their romances and participate in showers and weddings as the beloved Nana. As a result of these new relationships, I have added two grandsons-in-law (referred to as grandsons in all future mentions). Pedro and Lucas are two of my favorite people. They have been wonderful additions to our family and perfect spouses to our granddaughters.

But I have two other grandchildren of marriageable age who have not yet found their soulmates. Sara is sweet, beautiful, smart and loving. Ryan is handsome, funny, smart and an international traveler currently stationed in Italy who will soon transfer to Japan. Obviously, they are amazing people who would be assets to anyone looking for a significant other to add to their lives.

Recently, I spoke to Sara about this very issue. She shared stories of past “almost loves” and even a couple of disappointing forays into the world of internet dating.  Then she said the magical words that moved me to a new plane of grandparenting.

“Nana, maybe the whole dating app thing should be managed through grandmothers.” We laughed, but after she left, I realized it wasn’t so much funny as insightful.

What if there was a dating app for grandmothers in which we created dating profiles for our grandchildren, checked for matches, and swiped left (or is it right) on the ones that seemed like good possibilities. We would text the other grandmother several times. Maybe meet for coffee to talk about family history, needs, and quirks.  Then we could arrange for our grandchildren to accidentally run into each other at the grocery store, the gym, the mall, the post office or ComiCon.  (My grandchildren do not know where the post office is.)

I have no experience in writing apps, but I know people (adult grandchildren) who would be valuable assets for this new enterprise. So, what questions would be appropriate for grandmotherly matchmaking?

EVIL STEPMOTHER – Does your grandchild have any relatives that might be a bad influence on family harmony?

PUMPKIN COACH– Does your grandchild have dependable transportation?

GLASS SLIPPERS – Does your grandchild spend more money on shoes than rent?

BALL GOWN/DRESS UNIFORM – Does your grandchild have clothes that cover important body parts for an occasional church visit with grandparents?

COACHMEN - Does your grandchild have pets, and are any of those pets mice or other rodents?

KINGDOM – Does your grandchild expect to buy a castle in the vicinity of Nana’s house?

I will let you know when we are ready to roll out this product. You will be able to find it in the app store under the name “Let Nana Find Your Happily Ever After.”