Communication Skills-Or Lack Thereof

 

It has long been my belief – and Martin will confirm that I have mentioned this at least three times a week for 52 years – that communication is a very important part of a successful marriage.

When we learned to write papers in school, we were taught that there was to be an introductory paragraph, two or three body paragraphs, and a concluding paragraph. I have no problem writing with that rubric, but conversations with Martin do not follow such a nice linear path.

When we were newlyweds, Rev. Carter gave us a book to read with questions to answer and discuss. We talked about money, family size, career dreams, religious beliefs, and value systems. But there was no chapter or discussion on how to have a conversation that has a beginning, middle, and end.

 This week I fixed Tasty-EZ Chicken for dinner. This is one of my standard 3-ingredient dishes. I was disappointed that it didn’t seem as good as usual and wanted to have a casual conversation with Martin to see if he felt the same way and whether he had any suggestions for improvement. Here is what that conversation looked like as an essay in my head

Beginning: History of Tasty EZ Chicken

• Got the recipe from Jimmy Chambers in the 1980’s
• It has been a regular and favorite part of our menu since then.

Middle: Current Issue

• It seems the sauce is a lighter color and much thinner than it used to be.
• The chicken seems dry.
•  Still very EZ but not so much tasty.

End: Possible Causes

• Kraft no longer makes Russian Dressing, so I have substituted Catalina Dressing.
• I sometimes cook it in a crockpot instead of baking in the oven.
• It’s been 40 years, and it is possible that our tastes have changed.

I sat with Martin and began the conversation.

I was sharing the beginning paragraph when Martin interrupted and said, “You didn’t get the recipe from Jimmy Chambers.”

I gently corrected him.

I reminded him that Jimmy Chambers made it for a Family Night Dinner at Galena Park United Methodist Church and that I had requested the recipe. I remember how pleased Jimmy was that I had asked.

He corrected me.

(Is he correcting when he is wrong?) He said that he, Martin, had made it for a United Methodist Men’s meeting many years ago and that he, Jimmy Chambers, had requested the recipe from him. Martin had shared it gladly (and without having to write it down because it is only three ingredients.) And Jimmy was pleased to receive the recipe.

I corrected him. 

Although it is quite possible that he used the delicious recipe for a UMM meeting, where did he get the recipe to begin with?

As it sometimes usually does, our conversation took a heated turn, and we never got past the introductory paragraph. And I still don’t know why my Tasty EZ chicken doesn’t taste the same.

Feel free to offer your cooking advice in the comments. And if Jimmy Chambers is reading this, please note that in both versions, you are the nice guy.