KEEPING THE MYSTERY IN A MARRIAGE

 

One year ago, Martin and I told our children we did NOT want a big anniversary reception or dinner for our golden wedding anniversary (August 12). Instead, we wanted to spend our time (and money) on travel with family.

And we did. We rented a beach house, we visited grandchildren in Baltimore and toured Washington DC, we drank wine in Tuscany and hopped on and off buses in Belfast, London, Paris and Rome. And we saw the glaciers of Alaska.

After 50 years of marriage and one year of travel, you might think that there is nothing left to learn about one another. And yet…

In Rome we met a young couple who had just become engaged. Daniel was one of those outgoing, never-meets-a-stranger, full of energy people. And Paula was friendly and interesting, but not comfortable being the center of attention. I assured her that introverts and extroverts can be married–and after 50 years, the mysterious person you live with will no longer be a mystery.

Then we went to Murano.

Murano is an island near Venice where Murano Glass has been hand-blow since 1291. We were awed – but tired. In the absence of chairs, I spend a good bit of time leaning on a counter and feigning interest in some of the smaller jewelry pieces.

We boated over to Burano for the last dinner with our tour group. We joined our 40+ new friends for a dinner in a family-owned café with our guide, Giuseppe, waiting tables.

As we were placing drink requests, my center-stage husband took his glass and tapped his knife against it. Yes, he tapped a water glass and said, “Could I have your attention, please.”

I always laugh/cringe from the back row when Martin puts on his master of ceremony persona to delight audiences. But this time, I was part of the show.

He reminded everyone that we were in Italy to celebrate 50 years of marriage.  . He got down on one knee, professed his undying love, presented me with a bracelet of Murano glass, and offered a proposal renewal. “If we had it all to do over, would you still marry me?”

Women were teary-eyed, clutching their pearls, and sighing. Men were mumbling about his setting the bar too high for everyone else.  

And I responded, “Let’s talk about this later after I have time to think about it.”

Yes, that was my response. My romantic husband gave me a second proposal moment and I went for the laugh to cover my embarrassment.

After dinner, Martin explained that he had wanted to surprise me with a big romantic gesture and at Murano Glass he had seen me admiring the bracelets. I reminded him of how FEW times I have ever been happy with surprises, then explained that I hadn’t even noticed the bracelets; I was just leaning on the counter to rest my vacation-weary feet.

So, 50 years hasn’t been long enough for him to remember to keep it simple for me. And 50 years hasn’t been long enough for me to respond graciously to his loving efforts to make me feel special. Maybe we need another 50?

That evening we walked among the colorful houses of Burano then sat in the grass together looking out over the Venice Lagoon. He told me the bracelet was pretty inexpensive in case I was worried. And I have never felt more understood and loved.