Bastille Day


 

On July 14, citizens of France celebrate Bastille Day when outraged Parisians stormed the prison which stood as a symbol of the corruption of a government controlled by nobility. It marked the beginning of the French Revolution which would terminate the monarchy and begin a republic form of government. That day did not come without bitter discussion, turmoil and the end of a way of life.

My Bastille Day was July 14, 1971. It was the last time Martin dated another woman. No, we were not exclusive at the time. Yes, there were extenuating circumstances. Yes, I was supposed to be moving back to the farm in a couple of weeks.

But I have never allowed those reasonable discussion points to interfere with a good story.  Unlike Ross and Rachel, we were not on a break at the time.

After his abject apology, we agreed to “go steady,” a commitment that has lasted 51 years. Like my Parisian brothers and sisters, each year I celebrated the beginning of a revolution followed by bitter discussion, turmoil and the end of his way of life.

Our truce in 1971 did not, however, eliminate arguments. Our intense discussions are the fodder of family ridicule. We are both intelligent and strong-minded people. In addition, he is quite stubborn. We have debated China’s role in Hong Kong, whether to add surround sound to our television, Star Trek vs. Star Wars, and where wet sponges should rest in the kitchen sink.

We were driving with Jennette and Geordan one day while discussing whether or not to rent a golf cart for our Bolivar vacation. Afterwards, Jennette asked one of those “who is better” questions. “Who argues more – you and Poppy or my Mom and Dad.”  A rhetorical question, of course. We are the champions.

Because I am traditional about family milestones, I recognized July 14, that day of betrayal, with sighs and silent treatment.  And every year he humbly admitted his grave error. Then on our 40th Bastille Day, Martin came to my job with 40 roses and asked me to please forgive him-again. Who can hold a grudge and 40 roses at the same time?

We recently watched a television series, “With Love.” Lily was devastated by a problem with her boyfriend and tells Beatriz (her mother) that she always wanted the perfect marriage she had witnessed growing up. Beatriz then shared that she and Jorge were considering separation, were in counseling, and that love is often hard. She apologized for giving her children a false image of relationships.

Martin and I cheered as though the Dallas Cowboys had won the super Bowl and congratulated ourselves on not making that mistake. Our kids have no illusions about our perfect marriage.

 

NOTE #1 – In a previous blog I shared the value of apologizing to your children. We may have been guilty of overkill in demonstrating passionate discussions. Our apologies.

NOTE#2 - We recently visited Paris and the top of the Eiffel Tower. Overwhelming.

NOTE #3 – Bill Taylor, we appreciate the annual Bastille Day text messages you send each year.  Joyeux 14 Juillet!

 

Comments

  1. Your blog is such a gift. <3

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    Replies
    1. You are such a treasure! 3 cheers to love and forgiveness!

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  2. Where is the "like" button and other emojis for us to use with each article. I "like" them all.

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  3. Damn - you're good!

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