Writing Class

Jennette signed up for UIL Writing competition.

 It is no secret that I love words – both reading and writing them. So, when she came home from school with that announcement, I began to think about how to coach her to use writing “tools” to make her paragraphs more engaging.

Puns seemed a bit lame for UIL so I did not encourage her to consider “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt” attributed to Mark Twain or “We must all hang together or assuredly we shall all hang separately,” by Benjamin Franklin.

As Geordan played in the background and we heard ZOOM, BUZZ, PEW-PEW, we discussed onomatopoeias (a word associated with a sound.)

I encouraged her to add a hook at the beginning that captures the readers’ imagination. She grabbed a clipboard and wrote “My grandmother loves mice. Well, she loves one mouse named Mickey.” She gets me.

Then she reminded me of a meme I read on Twitter and shared with her in a moment of silliness. The tweet offered the observation that every piece of writing would be more interesting if, after the first sentence, you add the words “and then the murders began.”

For example:

• ·       From Catch-22 by Joseph Heller – “It was love at first sight.” And then the murders began.
• ·       From A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens – “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…” and then the murders began.
• ·       From Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeremy Kinney – “First of all, let me get something straight: this is a journal, not a diary.” And then the murders began.
• ·       From Harry Potter and the Sorcer’s Stone  by J.K. Rowling - “Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.” And then the murders began. 

For my readers who can handle a bit of dark humor, this might be a helpful way to slog through my blogs (rhyming is also a writing tool).

More examples:

• ·       “While working on his degree in education, Martin often served as a substitute teacher in local schools.” And then the murders began.
• ·       “Years ago, my sister Betty asked me what I would do if I ever retired.”  And then the murders began.
• ·       “As per doctor orders (which I have successfully ignored for years) I am making a better effort in retirement to do a daily walk.”  And then the murders began.
• ·       “Martin likes to remind me that balance is important as we make decisions about how to spend our time – doing chores or taking naps.” And then the murders began.

Jennette, Geordan and I have used this as a comedy bit in many of our after-school silliness performances, but I discouraged it as part of 4^th grade UIL competition for fear it would lead to a lot of parent (and Nana) meetings at the school.

·       From Memo To Parents  by Jay Killough, Assistant Principal - “We have grave concerns about Nana’s influence over her grandchildren.” And then the murders began.