ZERO THE HERO

 

In conversation, I may give the impression that I am the parent who carries the largest role as family support person. I bake cookies, make candy, sew when necessary and do pick-up and delivery of people, goods and supplies on a moment’s notice.

But Martin handles all those things that I can’t – or won’t – do. If mechanical problems get frustrating, he gets the call. If you have a philosophical question that needs an answer, he is always ready to offer his opinion. If you need a used car salesman to get rid of a vehicle you no longer want, he can help you close the deal.

And if you need a class clown, get in line. If you want Hats for Sale read in a Jamaican dialect, he’s a phone call away. If you want someone to impersonate Elvis, he’s your guy. This man has no sense of embarrassment or fear of foolishness. So, it should not be hard for my readers to imagine him in the role of Zero the Hero.

Each year, the 100^th day of school is cause for celebration. In my day, parents celebrated the first day of school and students celebrated the last day of school. Now, however, the 100^th day of school is quite a milestone. Please note that 100 contains two zeros. That’s where this story begins.

Several years ago (before retirement), a teacher/daughter asked. “Daddy, what are you doing tomorrow?” (Always a dangerous question, but he falls for it.)

“I’ll be teaching, and I hope someone will be learning.”

She softens her voice, looks at him lovingly, and lays her head on his shoulder. “Do you think could come by and help me explain the importance of zero to my second grade class?”

Martin was a math teacher and he knows lots of stuff about zero. He has also shared a joint checking account with me for almost 50 years, giving an even greater understanding of the impact of that round numeral.

“I was hoping you would come to my classroom as ‘Zero the Hero’.”

At this point, most men would have balked, would have at least hesitated, but not our Dad. He beamed as though he had just been offered a coveted role in a Broadway production.

My job was to provide the cape. (On a side note – my family has a box full of capes from years of participating in Dickens on the Strand, Renaissance Festivals, and Halloween parties.)  He painted a very large “0” on the front of an orange t-shirt, donned a top hat, practiced a few stunts and Zero the Hero was born. 

On 100^th Day, he packed his costume carefully, taught 8^th grade Algebra for a couple of hours, then slipped out of the building and into the nearest phone booth. He donned his costume and made his appearance as Zero the Hero performing math feats that dazzled young audiences.

With or without his costume, he is quite a character.